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Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sunday Funnies

A feller is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, "What on earth is that all about?"


The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."

 
"Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?"


The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Saturday Book News

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The Catalyst

Released October 1, 2008

From Forbidden Publications

http://www.forbiddenpublications.com/book_pages/the_catalyst.htm

Be sure to check out my website for more releases

http://www.skaymarshall.com

The Catalyst

A Mystery Romance

Blurb

Dark revelations and secret love lead to personal resurrection.

Carolyn Madison didn’t kill her husband but didn’t mourn him either. The rapist deserved to die, or at least she thought so. Beneath a myriad of family secrets, Carolyn drags the skeletons out of the closet and in the arms of her true, learns to love again.

Walt Tollhouse has pined for Carolyn since she was a shy seventeen-year-old. Little did he know Robert Dubois would steal her away, and then destroy the beautiful spirit he still loved. Beneath the guise of clean-up man, the martial arts instructor never pushes his battered love but gives her silent support she deserves.

Excerpt

Where is the devil?

From the doorway, Carolyn Madison’s gaze sharpened as she scanned the room. Her traitor ex wouldn’t miss the opening of a new ballroom at his favorite riverboat casino in Kansas City. She couldn’t wait to tell him the Odyssey casinos were still hers.

Great. He’s not here to ruin her evening.

Even after their divorce, Robert Dubois retained a position at the Odysseys. It galled Carolyn that her father had allowed her ex to remain on the board, although she knew Daddy wouldn’t have if he’d known the crime Robert had committed against her.

Unclenching her hands, she took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. She slid her moist palms down her black Halston evening dress.

Lanterns graced the walls, giving out a dim orange glow. Large, terra cotta pots of purple flowers and green shrubbery scattered throughout the area and a large fountain standing in the center added authenticity to the Mediterranean-style room.

Long tables were filled with hors d’oeuvres of Greek spinach and cheese pastries, spinach salads, and dishes of chicken, pork, and lamb. Ice sculptures of dolphins playfully cavorted at one end. The tantalizing smells of garlic, oregano and basil from the serving pans conflicted with the guests’ perfumes as they enveloped her.

Women in elegant gowns and men in tuxedos stood in groups, chatting while sipping champagne. She’d created the perfect spot to entertain the high rollers, proving she was capable of running the casinos. The company was still hers despite Robert’s schemes. Strolling into the room, she sidestepped people as she maneuvered through the crowd, waving and smiling when she heard her name.

The touch of a hand on her arm made her turn. Carolyn smiled at the tanned, prematurely white-haired man who was their head of security and board member, too.

“Hello, Walt. I didn’t think I would see you tonight.”

She’d always talked to Walt Tollhouse more than with other men. In the last month since he’d informed her of Robert’s treachery, she’d spent more time with him and grown to trust him.

He grinned. “I wouldn’t miss your party for anything.”

“Thanks. I know you hate crowds and don’t usually attend these shindigs, so I appreciate your coming.” Walt’s dark brown eyes crinkled with a softness she’d never seen before and brought back a memory of being in love with him as a teenager.

The CIA had grabbed him for covert operations in the Middle East, and when he had come back, she was married. Still, the last few weeks stirred a longing she hadn’t known in years. She regretted not having waited until he came home instead of jumping into a loveless marriage.

“Is the board meeting on for tomorrow?”

“Yes. Changes need to be made immediately.” Carolyn knew Walt worried about the company. Robert had sold out to a competitor by hiring one of their people. He’d made it necessary for her to run the company in order to protect it from a takeover when her father died a few months ago. She’d called a special meeting to let the other members know he’d been removed from the board.

“Good.” Walt patted her shoulder. “I’ll be there.”

“I’m grateful for your extra effort and support, Walt.” She reached out and embraced him, her cheek brushed the lapel of his gray tux, and she noted his wide chest and clean good-guy smell. “We would’ve lost the Odysseys if not for you and my father.” She gazed at him with gratitude. He’d helped her to find the courage to do what she was doing.

His arms enclosed her in a brief clasp, then he stepped back and dropped his hands to his sides. “I’d never let that happen.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” Carolyn squeezed his arm, touching solid muscle. She regarded him more closely. He was a handsome man even at fifty, and a good friend to her family as well as head of security. They’d met when he’d worked as a cashier at the casino while getting his college degree. Back then, their age difference had seemed enormous; today it wasn’t such a stretch. Five years didn’t seem as much now.

She’d avoided men since her divorce from Robert twenty years ago after six years of putting up with his affairs. It could be time for her to move on with her life. The thought made her decide she'd better go mingle because she didn’t know if she was ready to share her time with someone. Her fear of Robert shouldn’t deprive her of other relationships. Her existence since becoming a mother was devoted to her children. Now that they were grown, it was time for her to move on.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the meeting, Walt.”

“Okay. I’ll stay awhile longer to make sure a crisis doesn’t pop up this evening.”

“Thanks.” Smiling, she started to walk away, but stopped in time to keep from bumping into a group.

A twinge of a headache settled in her temples, and she rubbed the right side of her head. After a few moments the pressure lifted. There were guests to be entertained.

Carolyn waved to several people, then she spotted her children and decided to join them.

She was proud of them for working their way up in the company. Her oldest, Alan, dressed in his usual conservative dark suit, and her oldest daughter, Jolene, were total opposites. She was a peacock in a multicolored gown. Her youngest, Melanie, at twenty-two, wore a simple black sheath similar to her mother’s.

Melanie resembled a younger version of Carolyn, petite and pale. She clashed with this daughter because they were so much alike but mostly due to Robert’s influence on Melanie. At sixteen, Melanie had become rebellious, and her father encouraged her mutiny. He'd thought it was funny to turn her daughter against her. Although Jolene and Alan had their father’s dark hair and his height, six feet, they were nothing like him otherwise.

She turned to invite Walt, but he was gone. A movement in the doorway attracted her attention and her gaze fell on her ex.

He’s here. A spurt of anger slashed through her brain, the headache of a moment ago now screaming. She sped toward the entry where Robert stood, noting several ladies waved at him. Why would anyone be interested in a thieving, no-good drunk? Even though appearance wasn’t everything, his excessive drinking had put lines on his face and added pounds to his belly. She wove her way around people while fury surged into her chest like acid at the memories of his deeds.

She saw that he’d spied her and he turned away. He’d run, of course. Usually, since their divorce, she avoided him, so he had to know she was onto him. She pushed through the exit. He wouldn’t get away. She would let him know she’d learned of his devious plan in time to foil him.

“Darn it.” She tottered on stilettos and grabbed the rail just in time to prevent a tumble onto the bridge of wooden planks between the boat and land. Panic seized her, and she wondered if she was doing the right thing by confronting Robert; he had a history of violence.

Yes, the time had come for her to beat down her fears. She glanced ahead at the tree-lined and dimly lit parking lot. The shadows scared her, but she still followed him and reached his assigned spot before he could pull away.

She banged on the window. “Robert. Stop! I want to talk to you now. Be a man for once.” A man? Not likely. He was a rat; a big fat rodent, who sniffed and hunted for his next female victim. The motor revved and tires squealed. She jumped back when the black BMW’s back fender grazed her hip.

“You’re despicable, Robert!” She banged her hand down on the fender of the car next to her.

“Carolyn, are you all right?” Walt ran toward her. He reached for her and pulled her close. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “You’re not injured, are you?”

“No.” She wobbled and leaned against him. She wanted to melt into his dark chocolate eyes, but instead pushed him away. Their contact alarmed her--she liked his touch too much. Carolyn didn’t think she was ready for intimacy but maybe...“I-I’m fine.” Her hip ached like the devil.

“I’ll get him for this. Robert won’t harm you again.” He patted her shoulder tenderly. “Go back to the party. I’ll take care of Robert.”

What did he mean? Carolyn stared after Walt as he dashed off. She touched her arms where he’d stroked her. They radiated heat like dice rolled between two palms.

Would this gentle man really harm Robert? Remembering the stories of how he’d saved people at great risk to himself while in the Middle East, she shuddered.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Allll Abbooooooaaaard The Puppy Train!

Well, if all goes to plan, tomorrow we will have a new addition to the family. One of these lucky guys will be coming home tomorrow. Wish I could bring them all, but I'm only one person and a puppy is just like a baby, and well, I'm the woman here. LOL

So, here's the male side of the progeny:

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Aren't they just edible?! I can't wait to see what the boy thinks. We're going tonight to get the puppy requirements. Just remind me when I'm whining about potty training how excited I am today, K? I have my eye on one. The man has given his stamp of approval, so now it's just the boy's input. I wish he were already home so we could talk and giggle about it! LOL

I'll tell on Monday which we choose! With pics of course! LOL

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

This Week: In Diana's Head

ist1_6135370-heart-in-the-brain

It's that time again. Time for me to wrack my brain for things that occured to me as topics over the weekend that now, two days later, I can't remember for the life of me.

My typical week.

Unfortunately, I was out of town for most of Saturday at a family get together, exhausting, emotional. Yeah, one of those kinds of get togethers. But Sunday... Sunday was a great day. I had a signing at the San Marcos Public Library, the Annual Texas Author's Day hosted by the library. I talked to a nice girl from the college about the genre, what I thought of True Blood (I don't), and even had a very welcome shock.

One of my writing buddies drove from ODESSA with his wife to meet me. A.C. Croom and Annie. Could've knocked me over with a feather. I'm not sure, but I know I probably could've fainted. It was great to finally meet him. You've been just awesome, A.C.

This was my table mate, IM000378 JoAnn Odenwelder. She had a historical fiction book, Thirteen Buttonholes. I was going to put up a picture of me, but it didn't come out. Maybe I should ask Santa for a new camera. This is the only one that looks good besides, JoAnn's...IM000377 And no, I'm just not avoiding putting me there. LOL Just a little table space for all my stuff. Over all it was a lot of fun, and I'm so doing it again next year. In fact, I think Romance should make it a point to take over the library for this function. I think I was the only romance author out of some 30 in the building. We'll correct that next year. *wink*

 

Starting on November 15th, I'm going to be participating in the first of several Christmas-time shennigans and oddball hunts and fun.

Banner_for_hunt[1] Check out my website on the 15th for the skinny.

 

 

I should have more updates and fun in the coming weeks so please check back.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Sunday Funnies

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.


The Redneck says, ''I want my $20 million.'' The man replied, ''No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.''


The Redneck said, ''Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.'' Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.


The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, ''Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!''