Texas Humor at it's best. (Thank you to Linda Mooney for this one.)
- Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
- There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas.
- There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple noone's seen before.
- If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
- 'Twiced' is a word.
- People actually grow and eat okra.
- We put the 'country' in country music.
- 'Fixinto' is one word.
- There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.
- Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
- 'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you!
- Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
- You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't ma tter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
- You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
- You measure distance in hours. Like its 6 hours from Houston to Dallas.
- You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to A/C in the same day.
- 'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'
- You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.
- Yes, Friday night high school football games is serious football!
- You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
- There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco, and ketchup.
- The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
- 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'
- We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer, and Christmas.
- Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' to Wally-World.'
- A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
- A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop. It's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kind a coke you want?'
- Fried catfish is the other white meat.
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