Tuesday, September 8, 2009

This Week: In Diana's Head

diana's head

Texas Humor at it's best. (Thank you to Linda Mooney for this one.)


  • Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
  • There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas.
  • There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple noone's seen before.
  • If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
  • 'Twiced' is a word.
  • People actually grow and eat okra.
  • We put the 'country' in country music.
  • 'Fixinto' is one word.
  • There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.
  • Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
  • 'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you!
  • Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
  • You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't ma tter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
  • You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
  • You measure distance in hours. Like its 6 hours from Houston to Dallas.
  • You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to A/C in the same day.
  • 'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'
  • You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.
  • Yes, Friday night high school football games is serious football!
  • You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
  • There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco, and ketchup.
  • The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
  • 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'
  • We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer, and Christmas.
  • Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' to Wally-World.'
  • A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
  • A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop. It's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kind a coke you want?'
  • Fried catfish is the other white meat.

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